
I have been thinking a lot about babies lately. Having more babies, being done having babies, not wanting anymore babies, wanting a few more babies, well many just one more baby, other people having babies, being jealous they are still able to have more babies. Not just physically able, but because they dont have 6 already, they still have the 'room' for more babies. And sometime being happy we are not having more, sometimes wanting another one so bad, it hurts.

It is truly turmoil. Why does this still consume me. When I was expecting 6 of 6, I was so done. I knew it. She was born, and I instantly felt I wanted another. I chalked it up to hormones. almost 6 months later, I still feel like 'something' is missing. I count heads when we are out and panic because it seems off.
Trent says no woman feels like they are done. But I have heard it does happen. Why can't I have that, and do I really want that. I don't want to be done being pregnant. I want to have more deliveries. I want to have more newborn clothes. I want to rock my new baby to sleep. I want to watch them roll over for the first time.
It is almost mean to send me this sweet spirit for # 6. How was I supposed to not want anymore after this. If she would have had 5 of 6's disposition, I could see myself having many mental health days. If any of you have met #5 and 6, you would know what I mean.
I hope the dust settles. I hope I will feel a definite answer one way or the other. I am so looking forward to the day when they are all in school. All potty trained. Getting married, going on missions, dating. (not in that order...) But am I ready for that now?
