Mother's Day

If you are a Mother's Day fan. You should stop reading right now. No really. I am not a fan of it, and I am going to go into detail, as to why. So instead of reading this and adding one more thing to your bag of "that Whipple mom:" complaints, just stop. for me.

Now that I have that out of the way.... I have had this blog post in my mind for a good week now. In the days working up to MD, and even past. I started forming my bitter opinion of MD the year I was put in as a  Relief Society president. That year, in April my councilors and I were trying to decide what to do for a MD lesson. I got the impression we needed to do a lesson on non mom related things, and realized that it is quite a painful day for a lot of women. (we ended up inviting a guest speaker who gave a wonderful lesson on finding joy).
Do we need one day a year where we have to buy a present for our moms, to show our appreciation? Don't they have birthdays and Christmas? I was especially disgruntled about this part when I had to go to the grocery store pharmacy Sunday morning (yeah the store on a Sabbath, Stick it in your bag) to fill a prescription for eye drops for the 5 kids who had pink eye. I noticed a throng of 20 something young men all walking around the store or out of the store carrying a bunch of flowers and a box of candy for their dear ole ma's in a stupor, which I interpreted to say 'oh crap, I forgot I gotta go get my mom something and make an appearance,' I have to, it's MD. Nice. I don't want that kind of visit/ gift.
Should showing someone we appreciate them, happen with a gift, one day of the year? Along with every other person out there?
How about those of us who didn't grow up with a mom? -side note, my mom and I now have a good relationship. There are more people than you would think, who didn't have a maternal role model. Let's be forced to remember THAT.
Then there are the women who, despite their greatest effort, trust in modern medicine, and fondest dreams, cannot conceive. Let's have a day, to point out their most painful things.
Then my biggest pet peeve. I wake up thinking, 'hey, it's MD, maybe I can get out of making breakfast, listening to kids fight, cleaning every room in the house over and over, sit and read a book, take a nap, not cook and clean up dinner, getting 9 kids ready for church'. maybe have a day off. Nope, I can't. And if I don't do all of those things on Sunday, I get to make up for it, on Monday.
Or my personal favorite. Let's go to GMA's house, and do all of our work over there, while the men sit. -side note again, this year my husband did help clean up dinner, and I had my kids help GMA set up dinner. And actually, seeing my husband help his mom, fixed all of my MD blah's this year.
I don't celebrate MD. I just don't. My favorite thing is all of the trinkets the schools and primary help my kids make for me. Most of the time they don't hand them over to me. But I at least get to see them before they get hoarded away. Or they tell me about the candy they ate.
I don't ever feel more appreciated, I always just end up feeling like I need to be better, and do more. It doesn't help that I took #6 to school this morning and had completely forgotten that it was pajama day. my kids' mom forgets. A lot. My kids don't get a lot. No sports, only one is in piano. They on;y get swimming lessons in the summer, maybe a session, 2 if we can swing it. I sometimes don't get my kids the shoes they need until they are completely worn through. or my daughter has been telling me she needs new school pants for the past 12 weeks. All I could do was tell her, you can wear those for the next 12 weeks. Which maybe I wouldn't be so cynical, if I didnt find 6 pair of pants in her drawer that fit her, she just doesn't like to wear them.
Or those deflating moments when you ask your kid if they are still working on their personal progress program, and she shrugs and says 'nah, I don't really want to'.
MD is just an horrible day to be reminded of those things I am not doing.
Being a mom is hard work. Labor intensive. Thankless. But I love it. I just don't need a Day.

The Benifits of Kids

I really am enjoying having older kids. I think I have at least 1 (so far) who has inherited Trent's ability to figure out the mechanics of things, and fix things. (unfortunately he has also has a lazy streak so his projects are seldom finished, or cleaned up). The other day, I asked him to put my pictures onto the computer. Unfortunately I can't find them now, so I hope he remembers where he put them. I have a daughter also, who has become pretty responsible. and I feel confident that she can care for a couple of kids if I have to run an errand. Unfortunaly a few other people have also discovered this, and I don't see her very often anymore.
I am also not a big fan of spring. I know, not a very popular feeling. Spring to me, means yard work, hot, lots of birthdays, and Trent being gone. First off I don't mind yard work. I like it less and less as the years go on, one because there is just no time to keep the inside clean, the outside clean and take care of the kids. Also, our house was empty for 3 years, so it was really bad by the time we got here. We did all of the inexpensive parts, now we would need to put money into it to do much more than we have. Or to make it what I really want.  Then the birthday part. All but 2 of my kids have summer/spring birthdays. That's a lot of work. Especially the week where there are 3 in 4 days. or the day with 2. Then it's a little hard on me when everyone gets a year older. My oldest will be 14. We only really have 4 more summers together. Not that she will never be around, but kids priorities change as they turn 16, 17, 18. The twins will be 3 in a few weeks. I miss them being tiny. Then there is the fact that summer means Trent is gone. A lot. last year, we had to cram a quick family trip in, because his free time and vacation time was taken by his calling. So summer means he will be doing scout camp, high adventure camp, youth conference. I am way jealous of high adventure camp this year. He is taking the older scouts to Capitol Reef for an entire week to bike and hike. But, I do get to go on trek with him, so that just may be our 'away' trip for us.
I feel like our summer is already filled. It gets worse and worse every year. Well, worse isn't the right word. Busier is a better word. But since I like uncomplicated and unbusy, worse may be appropriate. I am hoping to cram at least one Yellowstone trip in there with the family.
I know it will go by quick, then before we know it, we will be starting a new school year. That's a whole different ordeal.

Looking Forward to Summer

I don't go anywhere. Unless it's an appt or getting a preschooler to school. But my excuse is, it's too dang hard. I have 3 preschoolers a toddler and a kindergartener. it's just too hard to pack us up, and corral everyone once we're there. I used to be so social, play dates, lunches. I was fun. Now, I'm just a tired mom. I feel like I am looking forward too much, to kids growing up when I really should be enjoying THIS.
AM I alone in this? I think I am, I don't know anyone else in the same spot. Well, one other mom, but she is moving, and didn't really like me much anyway. Maybe it's because the people in this same club, are hiding in their houses too.
I guess I can't really complain all that much,  really I'm not complaining, because I have no desire for anything else.
I knew a mom once who I never saw, and I thought she just didn't like anyone. Turns out, she's just busy. Sorry about judging.
Seems a little lonely doesn't it? Should I be bugged about it, and make myself go and do? Is it worth the occasional bad outing, and how frustrating that is?
I am going to force myself out this summer. Cooped up in the house, sound far worse that chaos out in the open.
Just don't judge when you see us out and about, looking like we should be a side show in a circus.

A Break in Spring

I love Spring Break. It's kind of like summer vacation. With out the commitment. No one has to get up before 7. We stay up late watching movies with out the pressure of having to get kids to bed for school the next day. I can run an errand or 2 with out a bunch of little kids because I have older kids here. It's not 105 degrees outside. I am really looking forward to summer this year. I wish it wasn't already full of so much busy ness, I start stressing out a little bit when I think about all the stuff we have to do this year.
For Spring break Trent took Monday and Tuesday off, and we took the kids out to Capitol Reef. It was beautiful. The kids we so well behaved and happy and nice to each other. We did it on a tight budget, and still had a great time. We took our time coming and going the long way , checking out ghost towns we'd never been to, taking a few back roads we'd never been on and just enjoyed each other's company.
Then we got home. First thing we noticed was the windows were all steamy. It was hot and muggy and had a funny smell to it. Trent went down stairs and discovered the hose to the hot water in bathroom sink had busted. And poured hot water into the basement for 2 days, Ok. We can handle this. We stayed up until 2 am sucking up water. And trying to look at the brighter side, we had 2 people come out to help at 10 at night. I am trying not to be too bummed out there were only 2 people. But I am incredible grateful for those 2 people.
The next day my mother in law took the 3 girls for the night, which really was the greatest help. That relieved a lot of the stress, since we can only use half our house, 2 of our bedrooms, and our one full bathroom is in the basement.
We called the insurance co on Wednesday morning, and finally had to call them back 24 hrs later, when our house started smelling so bad we thought about moving out. They sent out a company to dry everything out and test for lead and asbestos, which both came back positive (it's okay, we've had all of our kids tested for lead many times over the years and they are fine). They set up 29 fans and 2 dehumidifiers, taking up all of the basement, including our one fully functioning bathroom. Did I mention my Wednesday and Thursday we filled with back to back loads of laundry. 12 loads to be exact.
We're still not even sure if the insurance will cover what's been done so far, the adjuster doesn't come until Monday, but the water dryer people have already put venting holes in some of the walls. Sigh. That is all.

Baby is 1

SO here we are. 3 months later. Not a lot has changed. I have sat down quite a few times to up date this blog, but never do. That would take more time than I usually have to sit down. Even now, I have kids outside I will have to check on in a minute or two, then Emma has to be picked up in 20 minutes.
We are down to 11 weeks left of school. Which I am ready for. Im not sure if I am more excited about not having to get anyone off to school for a few months, or the pinoeer trek trent and I get to go on with 1 and 2, or the fact that next school year, if I don't want to, I wont have anyone in half day school. I am hoping to have a grant for preschool for 6, 7, and 8 and have them on the same schedule. Thant's not too much to ask, right?
So what's happening? One of the bigger things..... one of the neighbors had a baby this week. She has a family the same size as us, so I feel like we have a few things in common. So when she had her baby, I was kind of expecting to get that baby bug. That bug that seems to hit me, about the time my babies hit 10 months. It's pretty intense. It makes me a little crazy. Then I get pregnant, by the time my baby is one. This time, nothing. In hind sight, I think this baby hungry, is not just 'me' wanting another baby. I think it is that prompting moms get when they have another spirit that needs to be apart of the family. Our family is now complete, so there is no baby hungry. Don't get me wrong, I would love to have another baby. I love new babies. But I am quite grateful I don't have to. The thought of a new baby, is always appealing to me. I love those first few days. Then I start thinking of the logistics of getting too and from places, adding more years to the time we have left with kids in diapers. That is not so appealing to me, anymore.What IS appealing, kids blowing their own nose. Sleeping through the night. Driving. Going to college, moving out. Grandkids. That is appealing. The problem is, everytime I voice this, to anyone, I get the standard 'you'll miss it when it's gone'. I get that. I may miss it. I remember people telling me, when I had 3 under 3, (which I still have) that I would miss it. But I do not miss being 24 with 3 kids under 3. That was hard. Really hard. And I think I was a little crazy because of it. I figure if you just enjoy every season of life, each part will have it's ups and downs, and I am perfectly alright moving out of the baby season.
Speaking of moving out of baby season. 9 turned one. She is one of the absolutly most joyful things about my life right now. She is so full of personality. She's smart, and happy.... She is pure joy.
My oldest is getting pretty close to 14. And I think I enjoy her more and more each day. She's likeable and witty. She just fits in so well. I have a whole slew of them between the two of them, and I won't bore you with a break down on all of them. But I couldn't imagine life getting any better. They are all awesome kids, who just fit in perfectly in to our group.
Anyway, off to get 5.
Till we do this again.........