Do you ever have those days, where you know that you have the most awesome kids in the world?A lot of the time I beat myself up for weird/naughty/irritating/odd things my kids do. The question 'what can I do better' is a constant in my head. Today I went to a get together with some families who also have kids with DS. My girls were so good. They put swimsuits on when I asked, they got in and out of the water when asked. When one of the little girls accosted 6 of 6, 4 of 6 said 'that's my ____ be nice' They got in and out of the car, to and from the car.... To some that may not seem like a big deal, but to moms with kids with a disability, it's a successful day when that happens.
Although I did realize, when I was sitting there watching 3 kids and watching the other moms hang out, talk, be social, I am lacking the ability to have a conversation with people. I can't take my eyes off the girls. I have done it before and lost them. We had a UDSF meeting at a park one time. I took all the kids and asked the 3 older ones to watch 4 and 5 of 6. I delved into the meeting and wasn't watching for about 5 minutes. And wouldn't you know it, 4 of 6 wandered off to the playground at the other side of the park. So, I am sacrificing my social life to stay on top of what my kids are doing. Is that over bearing? I don't feel like I need 'me' time. I will have plenty of years to have friends. And I will never get these years with my kids back. So I'm busy. Crazily so. Gratefully so. Happily so.
3 comments:
I'm so glad you made it to the party. Your girls are very well behaved and such good listeners! You'll get more time to socialize. Give it a few years. I was just where you are 2 years ago. It gets a little easier. We need to get our families together. I'd really like that!
Wow, you guys are amazing with so many kids and so much careful attention! I have three and I suspect after reading a handful of your posts, my youngest son with DS may be a runner. If the gate is left open any little bit at all he figures out how to get through and heads for the (not busy) street or up the sidewalk (the same way always so far).
He's mostly straight leg crawling but will be walking shortly, he can free stand for up to ten secs but too cautious to take the step toward the second toy. He walks readily with the slightest support somewhere anywhere like a hip. He turns two yrs on sunday and is so amazing.
I am from a family of six (step but same house since oldest was eight yrs old, I was five). So much chaotic fun.
Oh I meant to also add that I also feel the social isolation in groups. Partially being the mom of a toddler where many friends don't have the third younger child but somewhat also it's my desire to stay closer eye, disability or not--in some circumstances it's always been there with kids (but not all get togethers).
Although I do crave and think I need the connections more, I'm good thinking ahead. Even if it's six or seven more years!??!! Thanks and I plan to recruit helpers and moms who can help. Try that too!
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