Unsolicited Advice

Long time no see.
I took the babies into the doctor yesterday. We have had the flu run through our house, and they seemed to take a little longer to get over this bug. So I had their ped give their ears and lungs a look over. There was a mom there, who had brought her 2 week old twins in for their first visit. we nodded our 'hey, we have something in common' hellos, and went our separate ways. You know that nod. If you have a child with a disability and see another mom in the same boat. It's like an "I get it" nod. I have found moms of twin have that same nod. It's comforting. It's unique. It is an instant bond. It means you can sit down someplace with this complete stranger, and have a conversation. You are part of the same club.
There are 2 kinds of encounters with people in this club. (The twin club, not the down syndrome club) You have the ones who smile, nod, then if they talk to you, they ask what week they were born, weight NICU time. Then you have the others, who no matter what age your babies are, proceed to tell you that you haven't hit the hard part yet. I am tired of these people. You don't find this in the Ds community. There is never anything negative said about raising a child with Ds. We have enough trials with learning, medical, physical.... we don't need anyone telling us that it may or may not get harder.
I have decided that the next time someone tells me how much worse raising twins is going to get, I am going to let them know that the worst part about raising twins so far, has been all of the people telling me how much worse it's going to get.

A Time For Waiting

January is a time to wait.
We wait for winter to be over
We wait for W2's
We wait for return money
We (impatiently) wait for #5's birthday
I wait for #7 to catch up to #8 and start crawling
And #8 to catch up to #7 and finally get a few teeth
We wait for cold/ flu season to be over
and for it to be time to plant peas!

I am going to let #5 have a birthday party. And # 3. I am doing February birthday parties this year. I think we will rotate. Next year it will be my June birthdays then the next year #6 and #4. Although I should do #4 this year. I am afraid if I wait too long, all of her church friends will be so far ahead of where she is, they won't really be friends. Even as it is now, there are only 2 of them that interact with her. I won't go in to that, it hurts my heart.
So we wait, until the next thing.

I Need a Bigger Plate

Trent recently cleaned the computer, and I don't know where he put all of my pictures. I don't even know where to begin looking.
As most of you know, I have accepted a calling to be Relief Society President. How on earth did that happen? I remember vaguely one day as I was running, thinking to myself that I was ready for anything that was in store for me. I was feeling like I was starting to get my life back in order and was feeling back on top of my home and family. I wasn't meaning this. Although I had been feeling like this was going to happen someday, that feeling had intensified over the recent months. But, my babies were new, the current RS presidency had only been in since December of 2010, and Trent was put in as YM president that same month. And he LOVED his calling. And he was good at his calling. I felt safe. I was a little shocked when I was extended the calling Not surprised, just shocked. SO much so, the next day, I called trent and asked him if that had really happened. I had pictured it happening so many times, I wasn't sure if it had actually really happened.
I have now been set a part, and have been in for just over a week. The week after I was called, I was wondering if I could turn and run. I am finally starting to feel like my feet are under me. Hopefully in the next few weeks I can move from a walk to a run.
I keep trying to stand still in my life. I get stuck in my ruts, and I am comfortable in them. Then I am given something that makes me have to move forward. I can't be an effective RS President if I'm not reading my scriptures, praying, and doing things that put me in a good place. I had gotten myself into the habit of drinking soda. Something I never used to do, and I was finding it hard to concentrate. I need to be able to receive direction an think clearly. I'm sure my lack of sleep isn't helping, but caffeine definitely wasn't. And I'm hoping no soda will help with the last 20 lbs I have.
So here's to a new year with worthy obtainable goals. Meeting and exceeding those goals, and finding joy in serving.

Airing of Clean Laundry

Before I start, I just want to tell you how excited I am today. My youngest sister is expecting her first baby. 12 weeks along on Friday. She is taking part in this first time mom study of something something something, and gets her first ultrasound today. Exciting why? you can't see anything at 12 weeks. BUT, there's been a lot of talk of twins. Her husband is convinced, I had a dream about her having 2 boys, she got a really early positive test, she says she's showing already. All points to the possibility. Chances of having 2 sets in the family, not really good. But the chances of having mine were slim. So, we will know today. I wouldn't be surprised. And honestly... if you're going to have them? Get em first.

Back on topic. The biggest difference between 6 and 8 kids is the amount of laundry and food. Adding to the problem:
I have one boy, who puts everything in the laundry. Whether he wore it 30 seconds, to slept in it once, wore it to church that one day, it's a tie or belt, or it's a baby blanket he was supposed to put away as he was helping clean the basement.
Another boy that puts nothing in the laundry. I fold laundry on Wednesdays (after a week of washing and drying 7 + loads) and I notice #3 has nothing in his pile. Then I go search his room. There are his clothes neatly folded back in his drawer. Filthy. Because he also uses his shirt as a napkin.
My oldest, uses her bottom drawer as a laundry basket. I don't use it for that purpose. So when they are dirty in there, the laundry service doesn't do pick ups. And she runs out of school uniforms mid week. Ok, who am I kidding. I'm a bit up tight about laundry, so I do pick ups. I want them to have clean clothes and if I am doing laundry already I am going to do it all at once.
The husband is the same way. But at least his pile is in the closet next to our laundry basket. Sometimes inside of it.
Then I have the 2 yr old. I have never met a more dirt prone kid. She is always grubby. She has that hair, that even if you brush it in the morning, it looks like she just rolled out of bed by 10 am. Add to that the fact that she pees her pants when she's getting sick, or teething (apparently that's how she deals with discomfort?) and that adds to my laundry.
#4 comes home from school looking like she has lost the wars with her markers, everyday.
2, 6 months babies that are starting solids and crackers.
And me. if you have ever seen me at the end of the day, my shoulders are coated in cracker, spit up, snot. It's just life right now.
So if you look at my picture above you will see my living room mid 'laundry Wednesday' The 2 laundry baskets are full. One is the babies' and #4. They share a dresser upstairs. The other one is mine and Trent's. Our shirts are the pile laid out on the floor behind them. There's a pile for 1, 2, 3, 5 and 6. Surprisingly, #2's isn't as big as it usually is. The towels I fold as they come out, but I have missed a few. I do the sheets the same way. The school uniforms are on the arm. Then there's the pile left to fold on the floor. It looks way more manageable now, before the folding begins, I have a pile about 2 feet high and 4 feet across. And if I'm lucky I can get the kids to help by making piles for each of the kids, so I just go from pile to pile. It's a little quicker. And because I like them folded and put away a certain way, it's on me. I hate when I spend that much time on laundry, only to have my kids go cram them into drawers they don't belong in.

Finding Balance

Can you believe these babies are 6 months? And an absolute joy. I honestly have not one complaint about the type of baby they are. They are even sleeping most of the night. He's happy and full of energy, she's mellow and relaxed.
I have been full of thoughts about balance lately. In my effort to not screw this parenting thing up, I have found most of parenting is about balance. I worry about not finding it.
My visiting teaching companion and a few of the women we vt, have adult children living at home. Heck, 2 of my brother in laws live at home. The thought of having my kids live at home when they are 20 30 and 40, makes me want to keel over at 50. (kidding) But it has made me think alot about making sure our children are comfortable on their own. That they can struggle with out running back home. That they can do with out the worldly things in order to live on their own. And most of all, not WANT to live with their mom. My struggle is this. Am I teaching them to think for themselves and be independent, or am I just being lazy, when I make them clean their room, help care for younger siblings, take out the trash, do dinner dishes. AM I being nurturing by coddling them? Or am I crippling them, and making 'home' seem like a soft place to go when the world is too harsh. I really would like my children to be able to take care of their family, and use coming home as a last resort. My friend's youngest came home because they didn't make enough money to have the clothes and life style they wanted, and pay rent, so she let them move back in. That was 3 years ago.
When I was 17, my dad moved away, and told me I wasn't coming with him (I totally deserved that). So I had no choice other than find a place to live and support myself. I squatted in my dad's empty house for a few weeks while I waited for my older brother to come pick me up and got a job and moved in with him. When I quit my job I found a new one, lived on ramen and cereal, and bought my clothes from thrift stores. I would have never considered moving back home. All of my siblings have done the same thing. Accept for 2 sisters who briefly while single needed a little help between things, moved in with my mom. Which was really more of a roommate situation. my parents/dad, raise very independent children. BUT, I also know that they rarely knew where we were or what we were doing. We were always over at someone elses house, or running the neighborhood. How do I get the independent kids, and still keep pretty close tabs on them.
I know most of these things I don't need to worry about right now. But, now is when I need the guidance to find balance. Do I put all of my Christmas decorations out, and spend the next 4 weeks yelling at them not to touch (#6) so the fragile ornaments don't get broken? Do I keep them put away and never give them a chance to learn how to treat nice things? I would LOVE new couches, but I would be a basket case, if we spent money on them only to have them ruined. But, they would learn respect for things in the process. Do they help take care of younger siblings, so they cna learn what it's like to take care of children? Or is that just putting my responsibility on them?
Maybe I am just going about this all wrong. Maybe having adult children at home isn't as bad as I think.
#4 is another area I need to find balance with. We have rules, every family does. #4 just goes and does. She know most of the time what she is allowed to do, and not allowed to do. At home. Those rules fly out the window when we are away from home. But, if she sees something she wants to do, she just does. How do we discipline a child that has no idea of yours and mine, right and wrong, when she doesn't get cause and effect. This has been and probably will be the greatest trial. A child unable to grasp the concepts people just expect others to have. Part of me thinks, why bother, she's not going to get it. How do I make it so my children don't think she a huge burden, because she takes so much more energy and supervision.
I also need to find the balance between being a mom and a wife. I feel like I need to be everything to everybody. Is that even possible. Even when I do my very best, I fall short on both sides. And that wears me out. I know it's there, that balance, hopefully my family is patient with me as I find it.
With all this on my plate, I still feel like my life is absolutely perfect. I wouldn't change one thing about it. it's hard, my house is a mess, my nerves are frayed and I want to fall alseep at 7:30. But I like it.

A new busy

Fresh snow brings the neighborhood to our house. We have a decent size yard, and all that unmolested snow is very appealing to the kids. They build snow forts and hills. And we pummel each other with snow balls until someone surrenders. (this is why I run, so I don't surrender first)
Poor #7. He is out growing the swing I guess. I watched him swing like this for an hr, sound asleep.
#1-7. Trent can't bring out his tablet with out all the kids wanting to watch.

It's amazing what this many people in a house does. I should take a picture of my laundry pile. Or the kitchen after a meal. 15 years ago, not even 15, but even 5 years ago, I would have never guessed I would be here. My babies are at a horrible stage right now where both are up screaming until 1-2 in the morning. They keep each other up, and they keep me up. It has been so hard. I am exhausted, beyond tired. I'm hoping this passes soon. Get those teeth, or get back on your good schedule.

Halloween

So, one of my least favorite holidays is Halloween. I don't dislike it enough to object to my kids participating, but it kind of a non-holiday to me. Growing up, I lived in Vegas where Halloween was the same day as Nevada Day. It surprised me when I moved to UT and everyone worked and went to school on Halloween. Poor suckers.
My kids are wound up for weeks leading up, and with this Trunk or treat thing the do in UT, it gives you 2 loads of candy to have in your house after. When my kids were little, we would buy a few bag of candy to take to T or T, then use the kids candy for trick or treaters. We can't do that with older kids, they count their candy. And, living in the house, we never get more than 2 or 3 trick or treaters any way.
#8 in her costume
3 of the other kids...... No, #1 did not go. She didn't want to dress up or say trick or treat, so I let her help with the little girls then have access to their candy.
Our pumpkin theme was Angry Birds. They turned out pretty well if I do say so.

for the T or T my 2 littlest ones went as each other. A few people thought that was mean.
I let the older kids carve their own. Which was nice, usually I do every thing from coming up with the idea, to drawing them, to carving them. They always clean their own.