How Was Your Day?

I love Mothers Day. Although this Mother's Day, I spent the day feeling inadequate. Saturday was a much better day. Trent got me an 18 qt stock pot for a gift. I have 2 now, so I can do double the apples and tomatoes. I got a few homemade cards, which always makes the day better. Although one of my children didn't make me a card, instead opting to make their uncle something, which surprisingly hurt. Things like that don't usually bother me. chalk it up to the extra hormones. We went to dinner at my sister in laws house, where I got 5 of 5 out of the toilet a few times, and 4 of 5 smashed her face and got a fat bloody lip on the trampoline. All the while watching my sister in law taking care of her new 6 weeks old, and I'm thinking, there is no way I can do this. I don't even know if I want to, and I can tell you how unexcited I am at the prospect of adding sleeplessness on top of the mess. I know the closer I get, the more excited and ready I will be. right now it just seems overwhelming. I miss the days of 3 kids, no where to go, and in an apartment I could clean top to bottom in 30 minutes. Although, I remember being overwhelmed with diapers and tears and no sleep then too, thinking, I can't do this, and will this ever get better. I didn't think that once out of that stage I would feel that way again. I guess we are all put back in our place, when we start feeling like we can handle things.
I guess I didn't mean to make this a downer post. I am truly grateful for MY trials. I know I could not handle anyone elses. And I know I don't have to handle mine on my own. I have an amazing husband, also, who I know loves me. I am grateful for the time he is able and wants to spend with his kids. I have kids who will help out when asked, even if I have to ask 6 times and it would be easier to just do it myself. And a Heavenly Father that knows what I can and can't do, and hasn't given me anything I can't handle, and endure, and come out better for living through. I am grateful that I have kids that drive me crazy and destroy the house, how bored I would be with out them. I hope I live up to the task I have been given, to raise them to be compassionate, and thoughtful, and productive. I know I am a long way from knowing the answers, and how to accomplish what I need to do, luckily, I don't have to be perfect, I just have to be willing. Then be humble enough to ask for help when I fall.