Kind of Panicy

I know I have been horrible at updating this blog. I can't say I will be better. But, today I had my 32 week appt. So I at least have something to say. On a day to day basis, I really have nothing.
I went in to have a growth US this morning. This is where my panic started. There were no problems. As a matter of fact, things look fabulous. But, baby A is 4.4 lbs and baby B is 4.2 lbs. I know these weights can be off a little, but I am going with them. They are supposed to grow a half a lb a week in the next 8 weeks. That is 16 lbs + of baby. Just the sound of that, feels painful. And I remember, they told me 5 of 5 was 8.5 lbs. She ended up being 9.14 lbs. I almost have that much baby right now. Then my dr. tells me, we will start talking about a C/S date at 38 weeks, because both babies are breech. And if they have moved in and out of position over the past few weeks, there was a chance they may flip again, but since every single US they have been in this position, chances are slim we will end up head down. Not what I want. But, I am willing to go with that because I really think this is what is supposed to happen. I don't feel the need to push for a version or hold out hope they will flip.
I now get to start my weekly NST, too. The problem is, my dr doesn't work the days the hospital does NST. SO, I get to drive across town twice a week. Which is starting to pose a problem, since my belly is touching the steering wheel, and If I push the seat back, I can't reach the peddles.
I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
for now, I just need to push the discomfort to the back. I still have 6+ weeks left. Unless my body gets tired of hauling this much weight around in it and I go into labor on my own. Which is another source of panic. My labor has never been over 5 hrs. And I usually have my baby with in the hour of my water breaking. I'm sure things will work out fine, but I always run the 'what if's ' through my mind.
for now, I will just be grateful there are only 2 in there, and not 3. Or I can be grateful I have now hit the 32 weeks mark, and I can deliver at the hospital of my choice. Or, that my babies are over 4 lbs, so if they came now, they would be a decent size.
And I'll just end with a general, ouch.