On My Mind Monday

Yesterday was a nice day.
Nothing major happened. Nothing fabulous or mind blowing occurred. But, it was life altering for me.
As some of you know, I have mom issues.
My mom didn't raise us, which creates issues.
My mom is now raising my brothers kids, which creates issues.
We are really close to our dad, which creates issues.
Our family goes through phases. We like each other, then something happens, and there is major upheaval and extreme contention. This is the dynamic of our family. It's not fun, especially for my dad, but it is us. I think I could safely use the word dysfunctional. This has pretty much consumed me off and on, for years. It's a disruption in all of our lives.
We have been in the middle of one of our family struggles, and I have just been searching for inner peace. I can't go through these upheavals anymore. It takes a toll on myself, my family, and my husband. I have been searching for where I stand in this, what my part is, who I owe what to, and what part I play. SO as I'm sitting in Sacrament yesterday the speaker ends with this. "This life is a test, that is all it is. Nothing more. It is a test to see how badly we want what comes next." The next part I am not quoting, but this was the jist of it. We will need to have learned forgiveness, charity, long suffering, emapthy, hope, compassion. I am not sure if he was saying what I took from it, but I needed to hear that. My job in this life is pass this test, and to raise my kids to the best, no, better than I am able to. That is where my responsibilities lie.